Oops! Didn't See That Coming.... (Real Life Glitches of Pregnant Women)

You all must have seen belly bloated creatures all around you, I’m sure! Well when I wasn’t in the list of such aliens I really couldn’t grasp the idea of having any such hitches associated with it, like literally I was blind and deaf and dumb to all these complications! And then God places u beautifully in those circumstances in which you are so self-absorbent of your shitty ideas.

I wouldn’t get into the gruesome details of heartburn, vomits, nausea, ingestion, constipation or whatever bizarre condition you could think of and Bingo! You’ve got it right!

In my experience these glitches top off the list:

• Walking Marshmallow Syndrome 
  

Whether you’re sitting, standing or lying down you simply look ridiculous! Yes downright ridiculous! All your clothes are way past your waist size, your shoes have shrunken over night! Your wedding rings lie somewhere in the corner and all you wear these days is frilly loose frocks! Adding more misery is the way you now travel. In the beginning of my pregnancy I used to be of the doubt that my tummy will ever exceed my chest while lying down and now I think will it ever go down??? Adding more misery is the way you now travel, getting on the bike or rickshaw or any vehicle is a form of an art. No matter how gracefully you start it off you end up clumsily, adjusting your balance, your oversized dress or the things that you’re carrying. To top it off, if you’re a 5 foot minion like me driving becomes a hell of a task! With ever increasing tummy you would like to pull the seat back to be in a more comfortable position but hey! How will your swollen feet reach the clutch and brake pedals?!?

•  Say goodbye to Lappy on your belly 
  

Ah those were the good ol’ days when we all could lean around in our PJs on weekends and watch endless movies on our laptops, belly flopped on the bed or lying simply straight. But these days it’s a nightmare actually to work on laptop even for half an hour! (I myself have taken countless breaks to finish up this blog) Your baby is in no mood of you propping the laptop on your tummy to your enjoyment. He/she starts writhing and twitching under the immense pressure of such gadgets, so beware!!

• Sleep Flip Flop disorder 

  REALLY??

  
  
  REALLY!!

Seen many photos of pregnant ladies lying on their side with their beautiful bumps peacefully? A dream come true, right? But the reality is far more antagonizing… whole night you are on a flip flop routine adjusting your three or four small cushion, two pillows and one big round sized pillow. The rigorous routine even while you’re half drowsy is the sole reason you end up sleeping because you have burned half your calories in the process!

•    Recurring Lying Idea 
  

Want to have fun? Let’s lie down! Want to watch a movie? Let’s lie down! Want to cuddle? Lie down please!  Want to eat? Why not lie down? Err… thinking I’m too lazy? Well referring to the intro of my self absorbent shitty ideas I used to think that way too! Oh no, yours are simple plain ideas! I thought of myself as the superwoman who could do multiple tasks at the same time but now it’s just a weak superwoman whose entire energy is consumed to grow a baby and eat all the time and a definite No-No for lifting heavy objects.

• Pee/Poo Anomaly

Last but not the least a major crisis that descends late in your pregnancy! Don’t worry I wouldn’t go into the details of how you’re actually doing it with your oversized butts and tummy, I’m sure you all will agree to the enormity of this issue. And if one is so oblivious to this fact then don’t limit your curiosities and Google it out! ;)